


Degree Debate

by PyroJuese



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comedy, Funny, Gen, Humor, One Shot, debate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:08:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PyroJuese/pseuds/PyroJuese
Summary: Against all odds, America is determined to convince all the other countries in the G8 that Fahrenheit is better than Celsius. One-shot.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Degree Debate

Germany groaned. "America, you're being ridiculous. Sit back down!"

"No!" America crossed his arms. "I'm not going to give up on this! I'm right!"

That day's G8 meeting, like most G8 meetings, had gotten off topic. And, also like most G8 meetings, the countries were fighting each other. This time, most of the countries were in agreement; it was only America who was keeping the argument alive.

"Just give it up, America. Even Canada's mostly on our side," Britain said.

"Yeah, and I don't really understand what you're arguing…" Italy added.

America glared at them. "I won't give up! Fahrenheit is better than Celsius!" he yelled.

Sighing, Germany looked over their options. He knew America was much too stubborn to give up on something, especially when he was this determined. Luckily, like Italy, America's attention span wasn't amazing. If he got bored, chances are that he'd give up on the whole Fahrenheit argument and they can continue uninterrupted. Well, completely uninterrupted wasn't that likely, but at least they would get something done. "Okay, how about this: you have the floor for 15 minutes. If you convince all of us that Fahrenheit has merit in that time, we'll talk about it some more. If not, you sit down and be quiet for the rest of the meeting unless we ask you a question. Deal?"

America smiled confidently at Germany's offer. "Yeah! Let's do it! I watched 12 Angry Men; I'll be great at this!"

"If you're so confident, why not make it 5 minutes?" France asked.

"You've got it!"

"Good. Your time will start…" Germany looked at the clock on the wall, waiting for the thinnest hand to reach the top. "Now," he said.

"Awesome! First thing's first," he turned his head "Canada!" When America looked to his half transparent brother, his glasses shined, making his eyes seem to disappear. That mixed with the huge smile and muscles made the timid country visibly horrified.

Canada laughed nervously. "Don't worry about me, eh! I'll change everything to Fahrenheit!"

"Alright! Six to go!" America's eyes looked over the countries before him as he thought of how to convince them all. An idea suddenly popped into his mind, making him smile. "Hey France, do you know what temperature it is in here right now?"

"I don't know. 20, maybe 21 degrees. Why?"

"Well, if you used Fahrenheit to tell temperature, you could happily set room temperature to exactly 69 degrees!"

France gasped. "Oh putain, you are right! How could I be so blind! Fahrenheit really is better!"

"I do not understand. How did that conversion change your mind?" Japan questioned.

"The same way how this one will! I bet you didn't know that 215 and a half fake degrees equals 420 real degrees Fahrenheit "

Italy's eyes shone with excitement. "Does that mean you can bake at 420 degrees?"

"Yep!"

"That's amazing! Germany, how easy is it to nationally change a system of measurement?"

Germany sat there baffled. He didn't know what to be more impressed by: that America, in less than a minute, already convinced three out of the seven of them, or that America knows full well how to convert Celcius to Farenheit and vise versa, yet they're arguing about this anyway. Or maybe how stupid of arguments are winning over his fellow countries is what he should really be shocked at. Speaking of which…

"Hey Russia, do you know what the C in Celcius stands for?"

Russia smiled. "What a stupid question."

"It stands for Celcius, you prat," Britain said.

Shaking his head, America slammed his hand on the table. "Nah, it stands for communist! And F stands for freedom! You ain't a commie anymore, right Russia."

"Da. My new bosses promise that marxism is a government of the past."

"You sure? Why else would you have big communist Cs next to your numbers?"

The large country was frozen in thought for a second. "That is a good question…"

"Due to your logic, couldn't the C stand for capitalism too?" Britain question.

America waved his hand dismissively at Britain. "Nah, that'd be stupid. You know what else is stupid?"

Raising an eyebrow at him, Britain answered "You?"

"No, using a less accurate system! The temperatures of Earth range from -80 degrees to 134 degrees, or in fake degrees, it's, like, -62 to 57. Fahrenheit has a difference of 214, not 119, so it can be much more accurate without going into decimals. Y'all can agree the more accurate the better, right?"

Japan started writing something in kanji. "That is true… the accuracy could be quite useful," the asian mumbled. "Maybe Myanmar actually has the better system…"

"I'm still not convinced." Crossing his arms, Britain leaned back in his chair. "Who is even opposed to using decimals? Primary school kids?"

America snapped his fingers. "Yes! Exactly! Kinda. I know my people, and even past elementary school the average person doesn't wanna write decimals. Only scientists do I guess. And I don't know about your guy's places, but the average american citizen isn't a scientist. They don't care about how water is affected by heat, they care about themselves. 0 is the coldest they want to be, and 100 is the hottest. That makes it real easy to tell how comfortable somebody would be in a weather. I'd rather my fellow Americans know that rather than how melted or bubbly their water is."

Britain raised a finger, as if he was about to retort, but he stopped. "Bloody hell, he has a point."

"And you invented the imperial system anyway, didn't you?"

"I mean… Kinda… Doesn't mean I can't hate it now..." Britain mumbled.

"Well, anyway" America continued, "It would be better for our scientists if they're all on the same page. Kelvin makes Celsius pretty useless in a science sense anyway."

Looking at the clock, Germany saw that only a little over three minutes have passed. Not only was America being unusually logical, but he was being so quick and organized with all of his arguments. It seemed so rehearsed. From Britain or Japan, this would be expected, but from America? And why, of all things on this good green Earth, would this be the argument that gets America to finally act like he's taking something seriously. Not global warming, not nuclear war threats, not even anything political. Just Celsius vs Fahrenheit. Germany knew America constantly complained about having to convert to 'the stupid metric system', as he called it. If Germany remembers correctly, America had made headlines back in 1999 when miscommunication around the use of the metric/imperial system lost him a Mars probe, but temperature wasn't even a part of that failure. It perplexed Germany more than anything.

Looking over the countries again, America's confident smile became kinda sheepish. He laughed. "Hey, I kinda forgot who I've convinced. Could you raise your hand if you wanna try and use Fahrenheit now?"

Canada, France, and Italy all raised their hands immediately; Russia, Japan, and Britain hesitantly raised theirs not long after.

"Alright!" America pointed to the only country with his hand still down. "Germany, you call hot dogs 'franken-furters', dontcha?"

With a question like that, Germany didn't have high hopes another well-constructed argument was coming. He didn't have a problem cutting it short. "America, stop."

The young country's face fell. "No way, did I run out of time already?"

"Nein, it's not that. You can count me as convinced, but I want to know why. Why Fahrenheit?"

America smiled awkwardly. "Um, I just said why I love Fahrenheit. Do you really want me to repeat all that, cause I will."

"No, what I mean is that you put together a well-constructed, well-researched argument that was tailor made for each of our preferences. You've had the potential to argue like this for years, and it could have been used for so many better topics and stopped so many conflicts…" Germany sighed. "Bitte, just do me a favor and think about this with more pressing matters."

"Uuh… kay? Will do? So, just to clarify, you're totes on board with Fahrenheit, right?"

"Ja," Germany mumbled.

"Awesome! And y'all thought I couldn't do it! I 12 Angry Men'd it to the extreme! 8 Angry Countries, and I'm Juror Number Eight, but actually Country Number One cause I'm the best! Imma-"

"I'm impressed, America," Britain said. He purposefully cut his brother off, not wanting to hear his rambling about a random movie that none of the rest of them even watched. "You know, if you can get all of us to convert to the imperial system, maybe I can get everybody to start driving on the left side of the road. It could be quite beneficial if we all drive uniformly."

It seemed like all the joy was suddenly drained from America. "Man, I'd take Celsius over driving on the left side of the road any day." He shivered. "It's horrifying to even think about."

Britain glared at the young country. "Well, if you're going to be like that, I'll start supporting the metric system again."

"Aight, I'm fine with that… So what were we talking about?"

"I think it was international taxation," France said.

And just like that, their meeting was back on topic, and everything went back to like it was, as if America and his degree related distraction never happened. Those entire five minutes were useless. No, not useless, it was worse than useless. The whole thing proved to Germany that America very well can be competent and mature, but just never, ever is.

Oh well… at least now he can always hope that it'll happen again. That's bound to be worth something.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is just a one-shot. A british person I watch on YouTube talked about how hot it was in their 30 degree room, and I was lost. That inspired over 1600 words I guess. Good for me. "emma. likes. to. write." (no spaces) on Fanfic. net beta read it. I'd love to know your thoughts on this little one shot. Hope you liked it and thanks for reading!


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